Sex and Intimacy Counseling

Sex and intimacy often come on strong early in a relationship, fueled by newness, excitement, and lust. For many couples, however, keeping the early fires burning for years on end proves to be a difficult task. It’s a well known and well reported story that modern couples are too busy, too stressed, and too tired to make love to their partner at the end of the day, though many state that the desire remains. And of course, other factors play a significant role in sexual dysfunction as well, including aging, biology, intimacy, parenting, conflict, and communication. Lack of sex and intimacy can be an issue for even the happiest of couples. So the question often remains: How does a couple keep the home fires burning, or reignite the lost flame?

Understanding Sexual Dysfunction & Counseling

Studies estimate that as many as 48% of women suffer from sexual dysfunction; symptoms can include low desire, inability to orgasm, and/or pain during intercourse. Men can suffer from similar symptoms, including difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection, low desire, or difficulty delaying ejaculation. Sexual dysfunction can be the result of many factors, including biological and hormonal changes, physical reactions to illness or medication, stress or anxiety, depression, or more complex factors associated with intimacy and relationships. Sexual response is the result of an intricate interplay between emotional, psychological, and physical factors, and dysfunction can occur in any of these areas.

Ruling out Biology

First and foremost, it is crucial to determine how much of a role biology and physiology plays in one’s sexual dysfunction. Working with your general practitioner, gynecologist, or urologist to determine if hormonal or medicinal changes are behind dysfunction is key to treating the issues quickly and effectively.

Sexual Dysfunction: Emotional Factors

More often than not, social and emotional factors contribute to a couple’s sexual dysfunction more than biological factors. These factors can range from more straightforward work stress or parenting issues to more complex issues such as recovery from infidelity, trauma, and abuse. Each couple is likely to have their own constellation of factors contributing to their lack of sexual intimacy.

Differing Drives

It is the rare couple that shares the exact same level of sex drive; rather, in most couplings one individual has a higher sex drive than the other. This can create an environment where the lower-drive partner experiences negative feelings such as guilt or shame for not matching their partner’s drive. Open and clear communication around each partner’s sexual desires and drives can help facilitate a more satisfying sexual life.

Monotonous Monogamy?

Modern day marriage is often thought of as a life-long pairing of best friends, soul mates, and passionate lovers all rolled into one. The immense amount of pressure we place on one relationship to fulfill us emotionally AND sexually is often more than the bond can handle, and sex is frequently the first to go as partners settle into comfortable patterns of cohabitation and companionship. Couples who decide to become parents face additional hurdles towards intimacy. However, long-term relationships needn’t be sexually stagnant.

If you and your partner are suffering from issues related to sex and intimacy, call Symmetry Counseling today. We can help you determine and treat the cause of your sexual dysfunction, and guide you towards reclaiming a satisfying and intimate sex life.