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Today, “self-care” has become somewhat of a trigger word when discussing mental health. If you’re stressed, feeling down, or are having a crappy week people’s go to response tends to revolve around what you should be doing for self-care. While it’s great that more and more people are becoming aware of the necessity of self-care, I wonder if we really understand what self-care means. Is self-care using a facemask? Is self-care going for a run? Is self-care…
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Our attachment style is highly influenced by our early childhood and romantic experiences. There are many resources out there that explain attachment, the four core styles of attachment, and how each is displayed in individuals and in romantic partnerships. Interestingly, there is less research and discussion around how attachment influences our relationships with the deceased, and how our attachment to that deceased loved one will influence our grieving process. One thing to note about this is that…
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It is not uncommon in today’s world to work extremely hard as still feel unhappy and unsatisfied. It has become the “norm” to work well over 40 hours a week, be consistently accessible via phone or email outside of work hours, and even put in time on the weekends. It’s vital to ask ourselves what is the motivation for working this hard and this much just to feel unfulfilled. In data previously collected by the Conference Board,…
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Matthew Cuddeback, LCSW There is an issue that we all experience and many of us unfortunately perpetuate. We do this sometimes to cope, sometimes we do it out of necessity and sometimes its done with intent to harm, whatever the case it often starts unintentionally. I am talking about how we can sometimes dehumanize others, to turn them into something less than human, something that feels easier to constructively criticize and sometimes attack. When we do this,…
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Matthew Cuddeback, LCSW Often times we experience something, think something, or identify with something and then take it and incorporate it into our story. The most obvious examples of this are when we were young and we heard a certain kind of music and suddenly decided that was a defining aspect of our character, we listened to Nirvana for the first time and went and cut holes in our jeans, stopped washing our hair, and got super…
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Matthew Cuddeback, LCSW In therapy we often talk about holding space. This can refer to the art of allowing a feeling to just be, without judgement. This can also refer to the space we literally and metaphorically take up in the world and in our own specific lives. Regardless of the specific reason for discussing space in therapy, it is important to understand why it is so important to your mental health. The reason we spend so…
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Matthew Cuddeback, LCSW When working in the field of mental health, we often utilize SMART goals. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based. The reason we do this (as in many fields) is because we often have a great idea and a great goal and can’t wait to get there. However, it can be incredibly easy to get side-tracked, lose sight, or feel overwhelmed, when we have something big we want to accomplish…
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If pressed, many of us would admit that we buy too much stuff and end up with a house full of things we don’t really need. The phrase “retail therapy” points to why this can happen – shopping for things gives us a temporary ping of satisfaction and makes us feel good, like we imagine therapy will or should. (Of course, we later realize that this is a temporary high, so we go seeking it again and…
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Coursera is a great online tool for learning; it offers up a world of learning to people who cannot afford a college education, and it provides ongoing learning opportunities for people who do have college degrees but want to expand their range of personal and professional interests. The information found below is compiled from Yale University’s The Science of Well-Being course, taught by Dr. Laurie Santos, and gives you a taste of the great information found on…
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Cal Newport is a professor at Georgetown University and author who writes about academic and professional success, technology, minimalism, culture, and the intersection of these topics. In his 2007 book How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less, Newport outlines a useful time management system. Not only is it applicable to the general public (it’s not just useful for young college students), it’s flexible and focuses…
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