Leanna Stockard, MA, LMFT

You may have a special connection with a person. You enjoy each other’s company, get along very well, and you challenge each other. While when you are together it seems like everything is going right in the relationship, you have different schedules that impact your connection, and you begin to question the relationship. If this seems like your relationship, you are not alone! When partners have different schedules, it can often impact the how often they see one another, the way they connect with one another, and the way they communicate. While having different schedules may be a challenging thing to manage, there are several things to you can try to keep your connection with your partner thriving.

Understand Expectations

With different schedules, it can be incredibly difficult to communicate with one another. This may be due to different work schedules, increased workload, or other circumstances. With a decrease in communication, it is essential for you and your partner to understand what you both are expecting of one another. Such as, how often are you expecting to communicate or see one another? Not communicating expectations is a surefire way to not have your expectations met and to feel disappointed.

Additionally, when expectations are communicated, it will be important to work on understanding and respecting each other’s boundaries: Understanding that it is important for your partner to see their friends or do things that are important to them individually, such as a hobby or taking a night for themselves is essential in any relationship. For instance, if both partners have free time, one partner may expect that it should be spent together, while another partner has had a long week and needs some alone time to recharge. Without communicating each other’s expectations, and respecting the boundaries that are set, this scenario could lead to resentment and feeling deprioritized. While it’s important to respect boundaries, it’s equally important to make sure you feel like a priority.

Making Each Other Feel Like a Priority

If you are hoping to continue the connection you have had with your partner, it will be essential to make your significant other feel like that they are still a priority in your life, and vice versa. With different schedules, it may seem that your partner cares more about work, sleep, or whichever factor that is keeping you from spending time with one another. Making one another feel like a priority will likely be dependent on the needs within the relationship, as well as each partner’s individual needs. However, communicating with one another often and checking in with each other is crucial. With different schedules, especially busy schedules, it is incredibly important in the relationship to make time for one another, and making the most of the time spent with one another.

Make the Most of Your Time Together

When you actually have the opportunity to spend time together, it is important to make the most of that time. This includes appreciating the small moments, being present with one another, and putting your phones away. It may also be helpful to engage in one another’s love languages when you are spending time with one another. While this may not apply to everyone, if you both have the opportunity to work from home or do errands on the weekends, there may be a way to combine your work schedules to work at the same time while still being in each other’s presence.

Having different schedules with your partner may not be easy. If you and your partner are struggling with maintaining connection with different schedules, it may be beneficial to meet with a therapist. Contact Symmetry Counseling today to be matched with one of our talented clinicians!