Dealing With a Breakup: Cope with Post-Split Stress
Break-ups are never easy, whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, a work break-up, or even breaking up with your therapist. There are often mixed emotions of frustration, anger, sadness, happiness, not knowing what the future will hold, etc. A good cry can help, but also talking to a therapist to process what has occurred is helpful. Breaking up with your partner, no matter how long you have been together, is always painful. This blog post will help you identify ways to help cope with the post-split stress that you might go through.
Take Care of Your Body
You only have one body and you need to take care of it as much as you can. Try not to overeat or under-eat. Continue eating as you did before, and use this as a time of change and thinking of some healthier ways that you can eat. Take this time to learn how to cook for yourself or try new recipes that you have been wanting to try.
Exercise (But Not Too Much)
Exercise is always good for our bodies, but did you know that overexerting your body can cause more damage? When we are dealing with post-split stress, we have a lot of emotions within ourselves and we want to release our frustration. Working out is a great way to release our negative emotions, but do so in a healthy way without overdoing workouts.
Remembering Positives About Your Life
When dealing with a break-up, we tend to think negative thoughts, and it’s important for you to remember that you were “living” before the relationship and you will be able to continue “living” after the relationship. Try remembering positives about your own life, including what you have around you — friends, family, love, etc. Identifying the positives in your life can be hard, but really try to recognize all that you have. Write down negatives about your partner and how much they hurt you, and then also write down positives about your life.
Do Things YOU Love
Sometimes when in relationships, we tend to forget about ourselves and we are focused on our partners and what they enjoy doing. Remember what YOU love doing. What are your favorite foods? Restaurants? TV shows? Movies? Music? Recall all that you love and what you love doing and get back to doing those things daily. Doing them as much as you can will help you cope with the stress of the break-up.
Allow Times to Be Obsessive
Right after the break-up, we tend to overthink about where things went wrong: What do I do wrong? What could I have differently? What are some ways to gain my partner back? There are always moments of “obsession” over the break-up that cause us a lot of stress. Allowing that time to occur is healthy, but then also not allowing it to consume our lives. Be mindful of how much obsessing you are doing. If you are going to rant to a friend about the break-up, set a timer so that you (or they) only have a certain amount of time to rant about the break-up.
Give back to the community and to others. When we are going through a break-up, we tend to feel pity for ourselves. Giving back to others that are not as privileged as we are can be helpful to our self-esteem and help us realize that what we are going through is maybe not as bad as not having food to eat, or a place to sleep, or a blanket to keep us warm. You could also try helping someone learn English, tutoring, or whatever you enjoy doing — go and help someone else.
Written by Kara Thompson-Miller, Licensed Clinical Social Worker: January 2023 “Why is it so hard to like my body?”: A unassumingly complex question that has been asked by many clients in many different variations, but one that, nonetheless, tends…Read More
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