Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling

We tend to grow up believing our fairy tale, other half, or soulmate is going to come into our lives exactly when we want them to. The truth is, we don’t know when someone special is going to enter our lives. For many of us, there will be a lot of swiping, bad dates, heartbreak, and rejection before we find a strong connection with someone. This means that you could be single for months or even years before the right person comes along. So how do you get through this time of being single without feeling hopeless? Being single and going through the process of dating can feel exhausting, but in order to find the person you are looking for, it is important that you don’t give up. Reframing what it means to be single may help you view it more positively and embrace the single life while you have it. Eventually, someone special will come into your life, but until then, I have provided a few ways you can embrace being single.

Rediscover Yourself

We can often lose ourselves to dating apps, talking to people, and going on dates. Take some time to rediscover your hobbies, interests, and values as you have the time to focus on yourself. Right now is the time to join the book club you were thinking about, volunteer at the animal shelter, or join the kickball team for the summer with friends. Open yourself up to the things that may bring you happiness. When you do so, it is easier to focus on the good things happening in your life rather than being frustrated by being single.

Enjoy Dating

View dating opportunities as an experience. Not only do you get to meet so many different people, but you get to try a multitude of different restaurants, events, music, movies, and experiences. Rather than walking away from a date thinking “That was terrible” or “I’m disappointed, I wasted my time”, try remembering what went well. Did you enjoy the food? Was there good conversation? Make sure you walk away from every date with a positive attitude so that you don’t begin to feel discouraged. It can be helpful to write down what went well after a date even if you didn’t feel a strong connection.

Improve Your Self-Esteem

After dating for awhile, you may begin to think “What is wrong with me?” if you are not having much luck. It is important that you challenge any negative thinking throughout this time, as it can begin to take a toll on your mental health and self-esteem. You can begin to keep a gratitude journal of things you are thankful for, dates that went well, and fun things you have done for yourself recently. When you begin to think “What is wrong with me?”, ask yourself “What did I learn from this interaction?” or “What am I proud of myself for?”

Become a Healthier You

When you are spending a lot of time to yourself, it can be easy to choose take-out for dinner, skip your workout, and catch up on shows instead. In order to improve your confidence and self-esteem, it is also helpful to take this time to improve your physical health. Challenge yourself and your body to see what it is capable of. This can include trying new workout classes, going to a cooking class, or finding a new recipe to try out. Having the time to focus on yourself while you are single is a great opportunity to improve your physical as well as your mental health.

If you are finding it difficult to remain positive while being single and would like some support, it may be useful to connect with a therapist. Contact Symmetry Counseling at 312-578-9990 to set up an appointment with one of our very skilled therapists today!