Emotional Maturity Counseling
Emotional maturity entails being able to accept the imperfections and failings of others, and acknowledging the randomness of certain life events. It requires the ability to assess a situation for its real meaning and impact and respond accordingly.
Emotionally mature people possess some of the following characteristics:
- Adequate self-direction that allows for achievement of goals
- Ability to control one’s impulses; thinking before acting
- Willingness to hold oneself accountable and take responsibility for choices/decisions
- To recognize the difference between short-term expediency and long-term goals
- Recognition of the benefit of proper perspective
- The ability to sustain and value intimate relationships, and hold positive connections with others
- Recognizing how being generous with others reaps personal rewards
- Knowing what you believe in and when it worth fighting for
- Maintaining a sense of symmetry and equanimity in times of stress of anxiety
- An ability to admit when you’re wrong, apologize, and accept responsibility
No one is born with emotional maturity; it is shaped by our relationship with and upbringing by our parents, and life experiences. Parents raise mature children by validating, mirroring, loving, and accepting their children. Parents who have achieved personal fulfillment and their own emotional maturity tend to raise mature children.
An emotionally mature adult grows from a childhood where one successfully struggles with failures, disappointments, and heartaches. A high IQ (intelligence quotient) doesn’t necessarily lead one to develop emotional maturity; many who are born with few advantages can develop into mature, well-adjusted adults.
It should be noted that emotional maturity is closely related to the concept of emotional intelligence, which recognizes the benefits of becoming adept at handling and recognizing their own and others’ feelings.
Emotional maturity includes taking responsibility for your feelings and not blaming others for causing them. Those with a high degree of emotional maturity recognize that others are not responsible for our thoughts or reactions.
A hallmark of emotional maturity is maintaining self-control during times of stress, adversity, and perceived failure. Emotional maturity allows the individual to gain perspective of a situation before reacting impulsively.
It is important to remember that exhibiting emotional maturity will have a far-reaching impact on those around you. Parents who integrate emotional maturity into their interactions with their children are being excellent role models, for they are providing their children with some of the necessary tools for living a rewarding and satisfying life.
How to increase your Emotional Maturity
- Counseling or Therapy
Seeking out the services of a counselor or therapist has been found to be a very effective tool for learning techniques to increase your emotional maturity.
The counseling process will allow you to gain greater insight into the behaviors that have kept you from attaining a higher degree of maturity and will provide a pathway for gaining that needed maturity.
Therapists can offer guidance that will help you resolve long-lasting childhood issues that are making you feel stuck, and will lead to gaining greater acceptance of your parents and yourself. Gaining emotional maturity is about making peace with one’s past in order to live fully in the present.