How To Get Others to Open Up

We often times meet individuals that feel more open and talkative and ones that are quieter and harder to have a discussion with.  When we are trying to get people to open up, it can be hard to get them to talk.  So how can we try to have a conversation with someone who is not going to talk?  In this blog, I help you identify ways to help someone open up, but also to help you identify if you are an opener individual. 

How to Be an Opener

• Ask them about themselves by asking “So tell me about you-whatever you feel open about sharing.”
• Ask them about their hobbies and interests= “I see that you are wearing __ shirt; are they your favorite team?”
• Ask open ended questions-try to ask them questions that will not just end with a “yes or no” answer, but that have more substance to them.  This can be a difficult skill to identify but practicing what types of questions can result with open ended answers.
• Ask about their career- “What do you do for a living? What made you decide to pick this venture compared to something similar?”

Are You an Opener? 

If you answer “yes” to a few of these questions, then there is a high probability that you are an individual who others feel like they can open up to you. 

• Do people often come up to you after meeting you and start telling you about their life and what problems they may be having?
• Do you feel like you radiant some sense of good vibes?
• Do people trust you with their secrets and often tell them to you?
• Do people originally just call you to “chat” but then you notice yourself having longer and more in-depth conversations frequently?
• Do people say they feel better after talking to you?
• Do you catch yourself being empathetic often to people?

Reminding yourself that not everyone is like you and they are not going to be as honest and open with you as you might want them to be.  Meet them where they are at and do not force them to talk if they are not ready to.  Do not feel defeated if the person that you are trying to talk to is not opening up.  Using the skills that you have learned is more than enough to try. There is nothing wrong with being an opener or someone who speaks with a few words. All of our personalities are just different, and reminding ourselves of that. 

If you feel like you are an opener individual, but are struggling to have conversations with people, feel free to contact any of highly talented therapists at Symmetry Counseling for a complimentary 20 minute consultation to learn more about how we can support you.  If you feel like you are more an introvert and trying to be more open, you can also contact Symmetry Counseling to gain more insight or tips on how to be more open.