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In the beginning of a relationship, or what therapists refer to as the “infatuation stage”, it can be difficult to differentiate between love and infatuation or lust. The infatuation stage can last anywhere between 6 months and 2 years, which is quite a long time. The relationship may seem “perfect.” You may be spending all of your time together, having great sex, and see this person and relationship as the most important thing in your life. While…
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Madissyn Fredericks, Licensed Professional Counselor, Symmetry Counseling Every person wants to feel loved by their partner, and at the same time, wants their partner to feel loved by them. When this is not the case, one partner may feel unloved or misunderstood. We all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differences can help enhance your relationship. Dr. Gary Chapman discovered five ways to express or receive love in his book, The Five Love Languages: The…
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There is a multitude of 12-step groups for various issues, including (but not limited to) Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Overeaters Anonymous (OA), and Gamblers Anonymous (GA). While they may display slight variations in name, all programs have the same basic foundation and components based on the 12 steps listed below. The steps move from a sense of powerlessness and loneliness to empowerment and community. The steps below mention alcohol and alcoholics since the first 12-step…
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Going through a break-up, especially with a long-term partner, can be a traumatic and deeply sad experience. Break-ups, separations, and divorces can feel as severe as experiencing the death of a loved one. When you experience a deep and profound loss, it is important to allow yourself time to grieve and process the loss in order to heal. It is necessary to allow yourself time and space to not only grieve the relationship and the loss of…
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The term codependency has become an increasingly common part of everyday vernacular for those interested in self-improvement. It is a term that often emerges in therapy as we begin to identify relationship patterns that maintain cycles of hurt, disappointment, and resentment. You may have even heard the term described in relation to you, a relationship in your life, or someone in your sphere. Yet, despite its increasing presence in common parlance, developing an easy-to-understand and accurate description…
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By: Anne Brennan Malec, PsyD, LMFT Couples within a relationship are always communicating, even with nonverbal interactions when one or the other may be engaging in the silent treatment. Communication is the oxygen in a relationship – without it, the relationship dies. A common complaint expressed during relationship or marriage counseling is that couples try to talk but have difficulty because the conversation escalates into forms of frustration and disrespect. There are multiple avenues to resolving this…
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What makes you decide that it is time to start seeing a therapist? There can be many reasons why a person or couple make this personal decision, but it is important to consider some of the motivating factors that can affect that decision as you begin this work. For instance, a previous therapeutic experience with a psychologist or counselor can color your perceptions. It can make starting the therapy process again feel overwhelming. It might leave you…
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Breakups and separations are one of the most common reasons for which people initially seek therapy with a psychologist or counselor. These life experiences often stir up our deepest insecurities and fears about both the past and future. This seems to be true whether you are the one pursuing or the one on the receiving end of the breakup. While they can bring up intense, often overwhelming feelings, breakups can also bring an infusion of new energy…
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By Andrew McNaughton LCSW CADC The Cost Benefit Analysis is a useful tool in determining the pros and cons of the potential outcomes of a difficult decision. Regardless of whether it is a potentially life altering decision, such as changing jobs, getting married, moving out of town, quitting drinking, ending a relationship, or something less urgent, like whether to go on a vacation, purchase a new HDTV, or leave work early to go to the Cubs game,…
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We all have beginnings as children, playing, laughing, loving, and interacting with the world as if it were magical. Even though we age, our earlier life experiences are still within us. Those creative, carefree, and childlike parts are still there, and so are any challenging and traumatic experiences we may have experienced in our youth. Both the positive and challenging experiences can affect our mental health into adulthood. As we age, it is common to consciously and/or…
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